“Shabhash! You have lived a great life!”

Grandpa sat on the chair he made, in front of his house, in the cold winter, folding his hands, draped in a shawl, not uttering a word, eyes gazing at the same point with occasional blinking, thinking of something. His face carried the emotion we never noticed in him before. Family members are consoling him that the love of his life, Grandma, is no more. But, he is unperturbed. He is not the active Grandpa we know, who keeps himself busy at one thing or the other.

70 years. That’s the period they were together. We grew up hearing the stories about him; how hard he worked as a farmer, carpenter and a blacksmith; how he raised the family of five. Undoubtedly, he is the hero who inspired everyone around him. But, his other half, Grandma, dealt the affairs of the ship for which he was the captain. We generally compare family life with a chess game or travelling through an ocean. Both of them sailed the ship out of the troubled waters. She accompanied him in his every endeavor—easy and difficult. She was with him in his good and bad times. She never left him alone.

We always complimented my Mom for the delicious dishes she makes. We talk highly of her recipes, manners and discipline. In turn, she replies that she learned all of them from Grandma. In these 70 years, Grandpa started his day with Grandma’s cup of tea, satisfied his appetite with the meal she cooked. He daily ate paan (made from betel leaves) after lunch with Grandma. But now, his tongue may not experience the same tastes anymore.  

They never crossed state but always traveled together. They might have shared countless stories while travelling in the bus. Whatever the case maybe, they cannot live a day without the other. How would he travel now? Who shall he share his stories to? In fact, Grandpa rarely came to our home alone. Every time we expected their arrival, we are used to see them both, together. Don’t know how Mom copes with this but it is strange even to imagine Grandpa alone visiting our home.

Grandma took care of him whenever he was ill. He took care of her whenever she was ill. What about now? Will the love and care we provide match with that of Grandma’s?

They laughed and cried together. They had differences in opinions but stuck to someone’s decision and respected it. They had fights over some things but resolved them amicably. Now he has nobody to laugh, cry, discuss and fight with.

From two years or so, he experienced some momentary instances of memory loss. He found it hard to remember his sons and daughters, brothers and sisters, grandchildren and other relatives. Sometimes, he traveled to an earlier stage of his life. He even identified me with one of his friends. But, he never forgot Grandma, till her death. Now, he should try to get used to the fact that he will never see her again, except through her photo frame hanging on the wall.

He never said ‘I love you dear’ to her daily. He never complained of her to anybody nor received complaints about him. He never complimented her for anything and never expected the same from her. He never apologized for his mistakes nor expected them in return from her. He never spent the night on the rooftop staring at the moon and stars. He never sat on the balcony holding her hand in his and talked about the good old days. He never took her to a long ride. He never took her to a movie. He never took her to a fancy restaurant. But, he loved her more than anything in this world and she did the same. I will be lucky if I experience an ounce of unconditional love they maintained throughout their life. 

While my uncle lit the funeral pyre of Grandma, Grandpa lost track of what was going on. Momentary memory loss engulfed his mind. When everybody cried and reminded him what was happening, he spoke, “Is she going?” “Shabhash! You have lived a great life. You have fulfilled all your responsibilities. Namaskaar. Goodbye!” Indeed, she had fulfilled all her responsibilities as a wife, parent and grandparent.

He experienced countless winters in his life. But, he may never forget this winter, which took Grandma’s life, for the rest of his life. Every sunrise and sunset will be different for him without her. These days, he rarely speaks with others. He sits on a chair or bed and gets immersed in some thoughts, maybe of Grandma. She may not be with us now, but the part of him that he gave to her never dies*. She lives in his heart forever.

* Line taken from Lady Gaga's "Always Remember Us This Way" from "A Star is Born."

Image Source: ShutterStock